Gold Star Jobber

Every so often there comes a long a special kind of jobber, a jobber in its purest form, that gets into the ring week after week and invariably gets his ass handed to him by heels, faces, and sometimes even other Jobbers who are popular enough to get tossed a mercy win once in a while to keep the fans cheering.  These doormats, punching bags, chronic losers are what I like to call Gold Star Jobbers.  The grapplers who go their entire career and not manage to win a single bout-these are the jobbers truly dedicated to their craft of getting squashed and making it look good.
(Note: Just featuring my fave "top 5" if you will of Jobbers who to the best of my knowledge maintained a perfect 0 in the win column) 

1. Red Tyler  Imagine being a professional wrestler, having been in the ring for a respectable number of years.  After countless singles and tag matches against some of the biggest names in the industry in front of millions of fans live and nationally broadcast on television, you decide it's time to hang up the boots and retire quietly after a successful and (hopefully) respectably lucrative career.  Now after all of this time and energy dedicated to your craft, you loved your job and your co-workers were always a pleasure to be around; you would think that fans around the world would remember you for your ring presence, your dedication to taking bumps and putting over other wrestlers when called upon or your great relations with your fans.

Not Red Tyler, after years in the ring getting his butt kicked time and time again, he is remembered for getting epic wedgies-especially the one pictured below provided by Mr. Perfect.  All the time, energy, blood sweat and tears spent as a pro wrestler to put on a good show for the fans-and his identifier is a pair of green spandex trunks a mile high up his ass crack.  While not the first time I ever saw a pair of trunks get wedgied in a match, this was definitely the most dramatic, even the match announcers get a few jibes in at Red Tyler's expense at the end of this match up.  What a way to be remembered ;-)

 

Of course, Mr. Perfect wasn't the only one to send Red back to the lockers picking lycra out of his teeth, here's Ted DiBiase Sr. The Million Dollar Man getting in on the trunk yanking fun....He gets a little help from Virgil as well.

 2.  Kenny "Ken Doll"
Whenever someone mentions pro jobbers Kenny is one of the first thoughts that come to my mind.  With an ass that could crack walnuts, cradled in those 2nd skin trunks that always let just a little bit of cheek bubble out, handsome face and one of the best bodies in pro wrestling at the time Kenny was always a pleasure to watch.  I think the simplicity of his ring gear with the only "flair" being those initials on the ass of his trunks in contrast to a lot of the facepaint and over the top costumes (tassels and rhinestones and feathers oh my) of many wrestlers during that period was a big part of what made me enjoy watching Kenny (and Eddie Jackie, another Gold Star who had a similar ring gear setup).  Another element with Kenny is how excited he always got in the ring, putting his all into attempting to take down the heel but invariably all his effort being basically useless and ending up flattened on the mat. 

 

3.  Bob Emory
Bob Emory was a phenomenal jobber, suffering through what were probably some of the most humiliating squash matches I've had the pleasure of watching (and re-watching over and over on youtube lol).  One of the few who were even thrown out to lose to other jobbers, putting him at the absolute bottom of the proverbial totem pole in the wrestling world.  One of these famous "Jobbing for a Jobber" matches was Bob's bout against Curtis Thompson.  Some might call Curtis a face due to the fact he went on to gain some fame as Firebreaker Chip (Firebreaker? really?) but for the most part the bite size bodybuilder ended up down for the count and wore some amazing tiny trunks doing it ;-)

I haven't really sat down and tried to figure out the time line but I suppose this match could have been the springboard point for Thompson that sent him on to become the Firebreaker and knocked Emory the last few notches down to rock bottom jobbermeat.  On the upside, Emory had lots of opportunity in this bout to display his phenomenal armbar skills.

4. Eddie Jackie Poor cute little Eddie Jackie, he certainly always had an energy and spunk about him, but he invariably ended up down for the count. 

5. Mike Tolbert
I guess I can't really call Tolbert a gold star jobber as he did manage a win over Doc Dean, which is pretty sad considering the Dean's amazing record in Europe.  Unfortunately he wasn't one of the Intercontinentals the WWE felt like pushing much...or at all, so he spent time going down to punching bags like Mike Tolbert.  Sad, but at least we got to see Tolbert get the stuffing beaten out of him a lot.

 So cheers to these and all gold star jobbers out there and their dedication to being humiliated for our viewing pleasure :-)

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